


play the cards you are dealt

by Rose_dEga



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, The Force Awakens - Fandom
Genre: Anxiety, BDSM, Cat/Human Hybrids, Dom/sub, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Fluff, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Humiliation, I guess praise kink too, Master/Slave, Panic Attacks, Physical Abuse, Porn With Plot, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Sex, Shower Sex, Slavery, Smut, Spanking, Subspace, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Violence, breath play, very dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:33:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 23,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22325626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose_dEga/pseuds/Rose_dEga
Summary: Eva is a slave. There is nothing she can change about that and everything would be easier if she just could accept the position fate put her in.But how can slavery be ones fate? How could she not fight for freedom?She will be bought and then this person has the right to do whatever they please to her.Why would she surrender to a life of dependence and imprisonment?Eva does not want to be a slave and she was so sure to fight..
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	1. Sold

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, a few warnings right off the bat: English is not my first language so please bear with whatever mistakes and flaws you will find (there are probably a lot xD).  
> I don't own Kylo Ren or any other Star Wars character. Tags will progress with the story but even though I try to tag everything I surely miss something.  
> Just take the tags seriously, this is meant for fun and entertainment and I don't wanna trigger or scare someone.

I shiver, I am so cold. So so cold. I wrap my tail tighter around my legs and bury my head between my knees. My ears are constantly twitching, I couldn't look up for the last two hours. There are to many people, too many noises, too many scents. They scare me, I would love to just sleep but I can't, I can't sleep when I don't feel safe.

It's been almost a year since I was ripped from my old life, my home and all the people I knew and loved. I lived with my mum and grandma, never knew who my dad was but that's fine. We lived in a small village in a forest. I love the flowers and animals and how the sun shines through the trees. I miss them so much. They came one day, people with weird ears or human ears I guess, they don't have tails either. They just came and slaughtered and took everyone away.

I don't know what became of my family, all I know is that they call us hybrids and apparently we sell for a high price on the market. Maybe because we a rare, honestly I don't really know but since they took me I haven't really seen anyone of my kind, it makes me feel even more alone. I try to make myself smaller then I already am in my cage there are a few people starring at me, mostly men. I look down again, maybe if I don't look at them they will go away. I had a good day so far, no one was yelling at me or wanted to touch fur. No one wants to buy me either. For almost a year I was passed and sold from seller to seller, I haven't had a real person that owned me yet. Everyone just thought I would sell for a really high price but my seller put the price always too high and when there was really someone interested I would ignore their commands and resist even my sellers orders. Of course this behavior results all the time in beatings and other punishments but they treat me like scum even if I try to do everything I am told, so might as well fight when I can.

They are still looking and I get very nervous, my black tail wags slightly back and forth. Like the tail of an angry or afraid cat. Well, I am half cat after all. We call ourselves Serami, we have the ears and tails of cats some even of dogs, wolves or other wild animals. I've seen ones a man, he was a merchandise who came for festival weeks in our small village, with bear ears, it was the cutest thing I've ever seen. We are really not that much different from humans as far as I can see, the only other differences, besides our appearances I could observe were that humans have a way worse hearing then we and I think they have a bad sense of smell too but there is no way of finding out for sure since I am always in my cage. But seriously almost everyone that comes near my cage stinks real bad.My cat ears twitch on top of my head when two of the for men, that were starring at me go away to look at a nearby cage with a lovely lady that contrary to me has absolutely no problems showing of her body. She's new. Arrived here this morning and it seem like there are already a bunch of people interested in buying her. There are still men at my cage, why don't wanna go away, please. I hide behind my long black locks. I am tired, so tired, I wish it would just end. Maybe the I could sleep. Or something to eat, that sounds nice too. Oh yes, please I want something to eat. I can't remember when was the last time I've had to eat something. But they only feed those who are willing to display their bodies. The last days I just couldn't bring my self to do it or maybe I don't care anymore. Maybe I am trying to kill myself. I don't know anymore. But they wouldn't let me die, right? I will be beaten up again this night for not behaving as I am told, of course the guards and slave traders are careful not to damage our bodies to much but they know their ways to make it hurt. Last night I thought i wouldn't make, but he finished whipping my hands before I gave up. Hands, feet and the back are whipped for punishments after all our faces have to look pretty and many buyers don't like it if breast or genitals are already bruised, I think it is because then it looks like the slave was already used or something like that. Not sure what's going on in their sick heads to be honest.

"Hey sweety, show us your ass.", Oh no, no, no nono NO. "He said show us your ass bitch!", I should not ignore them but I can't, I just can't do what they want from me. Silently I start crying. "If you make me repeat myself one time" "Is there a problem gentleman?" And I thought this couldn't get any worse, I know this smell, that's the overseer. "We just wanted to take a good look at one of your girls but she is either deaf or needs a real hard hand." I still don't look up but I can feel that the overseer stands close to me when he almost screams: "Present yourself whore!" My whole body quivers and shivers but I don't budge. He is a brutal men, he enjoys punishing way to much and I think he really has it out for me since he is always near my cage, but I really can't do what is asked of me. I whimper and my ears flatten against my head. I feel the panic rise in me and my breathing gets heavier and heavier. The overseer turns apolotetically to the men: "You're right she definitely needs a lesson. I am terribly sorry for this behaviour. Most our slavesare way betterbbehaved then this one. Of course you have the right to punish her yourself. If you want she ist yours for the next two hours." 

It is truly terrible what he is suggesting, this is the worst case scenario and I can't stop crying. I can't breathe anymore either and I am only one second away from a fully grown panic attack.

"I would prefer to buy a not damaged produkt.", a deep mechanical voice interrupts their converstion. All eyes turn to a tall man, his presence seems to fill the whole room. He wears all black, black cape and face hidden behind a almost grotesque black mask, that is the reason for is unnatural voice. And then it hits me, his scent. I never meet a human that smells so heavenly. I start to calm down a bit. I just want to close my eyes and bask in his scent maybe then I could forget this world.

"Oh, commander! What an honor to meet you. How may I help you? Is any slave to your liking so far?", I've never seen him this slimy, the black man must be a real important person. And he called him commander? 

"I would actually like to purchase this slave.", he seems annoyed by the overseers attitude and I almost like him for that. "Are you sure you want this one, we have better options here Sir. This one can't even follow simple orders." "So can't you. I said I want this one. Don't make me repeat myself again." even through his helmet his voice is as cold as ice. The other man back off silently and go to another cage nearby. The overseers apologizes again and again while he gets me out of my cage, the moment I am out a big hand clad in a black leather gloves gribs my arm and I am tugged into a hard chest. Suddenly I don't have to see the overseers or any other human anymore, even the sounds and voices are numb and only his beautiful scent surrounds me. It feels safe. Maybe I am naive for thinking like this since I don't know him at all but this may be the happiest I've been for a long time.

Crushed into his chest I don't get much of what they are discussing. The overseer asked if he wants to purchase chains with me but before he can talk even more the black man cuts him off. "I just need some clothes for her." By that the slave trader seems really caught off guard but relents and I am handed some rags that put on my starved frame look even more ridiculous and shabby but honestly these are the first clothes in months for me so I am really not complaining.

I wonder how my owner will be and I really can't stop myself from hoping he will be better then the slave traders. He lays his hand at the back of my neck and pulls me up when I stumple or fall and like this I am let out of the room and the cage I lived in for the last three months.


	2. Yes, Master

As soon as we step into is home I am lead to the bathroom. Or at least I guess this is the bathroom?? It looks very different from my home or the showers the slave traders forced me to use. At home I would wash myself together with others at the river nearby our village or when I hadn't much time I would just use a bucket of water. In the winter of course that wasn't possible. Where I am from the winters are long and hard. Everything get literally thrown under the snow and even attempting to go outside can be an adventure for itself. Well, in the winter we would just heat water up and put it in a big tube. The showers I had to use for the last year were big open spaces, all the walls were made of tales and there was no color. It made me feel incredibly self conscious to be cramped in this cold space with several other males and females. Cold water would stream down from shower heads at the ceiling, we were given one bar of soap which we had to pass around. And that one bar of soap was used to clean hair and body. But this shower here, I've never seen anything like it. The tiles in the bathroom are black and white with black elegant sinks and a shower with glass doors and many, so many buttons and an entire keypad. He spins me around and practically rips my clothes from me. Good bye clothes, I am a bit frustrated because the fact that he just destroyed my only clothes must mean I will be naked the next days and weeks. I hate that, I hate that so much, I don't wanna be naked anymore. He didn't say one word the whole time and I am afraid again. I want to ask him his name but I don't dare to, he doesn't look like he wants me to talk, well as much as i can tell from his mask at least. But his confident posture and aggressive movements tell me enough to not open my mouth.

He pushes me violently into the shower cabin, I am to weak and tired to react so I crash into the wall and fall to my knees. I hear the rustle of heave clothes behind me. I try to stand up but my knees give out, shit, oh please no. I panic for the thousandth time today and the tears flow again. I hear a humorless snort above me and look up. He is naked as well and holy grapefruit he is build as hell, no wonder he throws me around like a rag doll. I mean he is at least a head taller then me but his muscles are very VERY well defined and his pale skin make them only stand out even more. But his face is what catches my attention the most. Framed by long black locks he is rather handsome. A sharp jawline and strong dark eyes make him look very masculine. "Pathetic.", he scrutinizes me for a few seconds as if he finds it funny how I fail standing up. My ears flatten against my head, seems like I was wrong about him, he is an ass like all the others. "Careful, what you think pet." Pet? What? He lifts me by my arms from the floor and as my knees dare to give out again he spins me around and presses me into the wall. But wait a second, did he just read my thoughts? Surely that can't be the case, I must be going insane at this point. I probably just thought out loud. "Stop thinking pet, that has no use for you." Oh, no that can't be. And suddenly I can't take it anymore I start to struggle and to kick. I don't know were I've got suddenly energy from but I try to wind out of his grasp.

My rebellion lasts for roughly three seconds then he grabs my hair with his left hand and slaps me with the other hard across the face. My heads spins. He backhands me across the other check and the world goes black for a second. I am still gasping for air as he takes the shower head and starts to pour water over me. Water gets in my eyes, ears and mouth, I desperately try to get some air in my lungs but there is only water everywhere. I cough and pant but he doesn't care. After I am dripping everywhere he takes one of many bottles from the wall, if I had any energy left to concentrate on anything else then his rough touches I would curiously look at the many different bottles, all their shapes and colors. But my body is at its limit at this point, starvation, cold, beatings and sleepless nights are finishing me off. Honestly I have no hope to survive this night and maybe I would've be better off dead. Again, I am thinking again about death.

He rubs the foamy stuff of the bottle into my hair.I appreciate hoe he is with my ears a bit more gentle then with the rest of my hair. I don't know this smell but it tickles in my nose and mouth, I kinda like the smell of it. "Menthol, pet." What? "The scent is called menthol." Oh, I never heard of it. I don't care that he cleans my body with another foamy substance from another bottle. Again the smell is different but not unpleasant. But now I am sure, he definitely can hear my thoughts. Maybe I can communicate with him like this? I wanna know your name, please. I hear a dark chuckle from behind me, he has my back pressed to his chest as he rinses me off. "A slave has no right to call their master by his name." His fingers fondle my breasts. "You are to call me master." I try to catch my breath and suddenly he squeezes my breast so hard it hurts, I cry out and there are tears in my eyes again. "Answer when you are spoken to." "Yes, master.", I press out and his grip loosens. He stoped the water flow instead he has his one hand around my neck, not pressing down but as a warning, his other hand creeps down between my legs. I am to tired to feel ashamed at how wet I am as his fingers slip between my folds and start to press down on my clit. My back arches and my head falls against his shoulder, slowly he starts to massage my clit and play with my entrance. I can feel that he looks at me but i can bring myself to care, this is the first gentle touch I receive in over a year and I just want to give up, I want to submit so badly to him.

Two of his long fingers slip deep into me and they feel so big, all the shamelessly grabbing fingers of the slave traders and the overseer are nothing compared to him. I gasp for air and he chuckles again. I can't seem but to find his voice beautiful, it is deep and calm. He pumps his fingers faster into me, adds a fourth and caresses my clit with thump. Small moans and puffs of air escape my mouth, I try to meet his fingers with my hips, I need more just a bit more. Just a bit, please ..

..and then he stops and bites hard down onto my shoulder. I crash, I feel how he breaks skin, I scream but there is nothing I can do against him. "Did you really just thought I'd let you come kitten? Pets need to earn the right to come." He loosens his grip and I fall like a ragdoll to the floor. I cry out again as my knees hit the hard tiles and pain explodes in every bone of my legs. "You need to be punished and you'd do well to just take it kitten like a good slave is supposed to be." with these words he grips me by my hair and presses the hard tip of his cock against my lips. I let him obediently in and he immediately shoves his whole length into my jaw. I am gagging, he is way too big and tears start to flow again. "Relax your jaw.", he says this cruel command almost gentle and I try my best to relax and open up as wide as I can for him. He goes in and out and starts to establish a rhythm, I am still gagging though. Both hands in my hair he uses me how he wants, my throat start to burn and my eyes look up to him. I try to helplessly search his eyes for any kindness. I can't breath anymore and begin to get dizzy. He can read my mind and silently I am begging him to stop since I can't make any sound except for a few gurgles and whimpers. He looks down at me and smiles. It is so cruel, at this moment I know that he knows how I feel and he enjoys every second of it.

I must be a sight to behold: tears and spit streaming down my face and blood tripping over my shoulder into my collarbone from the bite earlier and his enormous cock splitting my mouth wide open while my hears lay flat on top of my head and my tail swishes violently back and forth. I feel disgusted by myself but I am to weak to resist anymore. He is a sadist. How could I've ever hoped for a better life, I am so stupid. His grip in my hair tightens but I don't really register it anymore, his shoves get more and more brutal and then I am pressed down into his pelvis. I smell his musky scent and hate myself for still thinking he smells good. Then I feel his warm seed running down my throat and I start to gag and cough, I don't want to swallow it, please everything but not this. Still he is way too strong for me, he presses my face hard down onto his shaft so I can't close my mouth and I am forced to swallow his cum. A bitter taste spreads in my mouth and I wish I could vomit but besides his cum there is nothing in my stomach to throw up. He slowly loosens his hold on me, I let his now soft cock fall from my swollen lips and rest my head on his strong thighs. I am to weak to move, to weat to think, there is nothing in my head anymore. I try to just breath while he softly caresses my head and ears. It feels good, this soft touch feels so so good after all this manhandling and beating. "Good girl.", he praises me and it makes me way more happy then it should. "You did well.", I don't even realize I started to purr.

He kindly picks me up and steps out of the shower, I lay limp in his arms. I let him put me on the floor for a moment he is gone and I start to panic. I look around me and make a helpless sound but then he is right back with a fluffy towel and starts to rub me down. He doesn't rub my tail and hears instead he gently dabs them and I blink surprised. He chuckles: "I know a thing or two about hybrids." After he dried himself off he gives to me a tooth brush and starts to blow dry and brush my hair. It's grown rather long since I haven't had a haircut in years and it takes him a while to get all the knots out.

After that he brings me in a room which I guess is the bedroom. But besides the bed there is nothing much else. I practically stumble onto the bed before I can react he already impatiently pulls me up. I look onto the black blankets, how fitting I think. Black like his helm and cape, black like his hair and eyes and black like my hair and fur I think sarcastically. "Look at me." his deep voice fills the whole room, it sound so different from when he hast the helmet on and I can't defy his command. He takes my chin between fingers and caresses my cheek. "What did you learn today?" 

Oh shit. I tremble: "I am to call you master and speak when I am spoken to." Was there anything else?? Please let me be right, I could not endure another punishment today, I really couldn't. But he looks not unkindly down at me: "Good pet, at least you have the capacity to learn." I take a deep breath. "I am hard but fair, you'd better remember that kitten, I won't repeat myself twice." Then he comes to bed and covers us both with the blankets. I curl myself to a small ball and a second later I feel his hard chest and abs lean into my back. I stiffen immediately and my ears flatten again, I can't control it I really wish I could but they do whatever they want. "Relax.", his big hand winds around my body and lays onto my throat. He doesn't press down but there is no possibility of escape either. But even if I am way to tired to move and my body feels so heavy. I close my eyes and a second later the world gets black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey,  
> I would like to know what do you think of the chapter length. Would you like it to be longer or shorter?   
> Or is it good how it is?


	3. Repeat

It's too hot. It is way too hot, I wake up and feel so incredibly thirsty. When was the last time I had some water? Yesterday midday or something. Only now I realize why I am probably so hot, I lay curled up under heavy blankets and a hot body is beside me, I can feel it against my back. Wait! What? Blankets, someone else? Where am I? Within a second I am sitting straight in the bed, ears perked and ready to run if nessecary. A deep groan can be heard from beside me, in my panic I completely forgot that I am not alone anymore and I've thrown the blankets away. Hastily I take the blankets and put them back over the person beside maybe he is still half asleep and forgets it. "No, I am not pet."

Oh shit, oh please no. Now I will surely get punished. Also why does he always have to read my thoughts?? It's like I even can't have privacy in my own head.  
I look at him beside me, after I've thrown the blankets back on him he rolled on to his back, one arm laying over his face so I can't see his eyes.

He doesn't seem as dangerous as yesterday and maybe the sleep makes me more brave then I actually am. 

I am really really thirsty, so I stand up and walk on shaky legs to the bathroom or at least that was the plan. After two steps I am stopped, I don't know what it is but I just can't move, then I feel how my throat tightens and I know for sure it's him. "Where do you think you're going?"

I can't speak, heck I can't even breath. I hear shuffling behind me and then I am turned around, he stands beside the bed and is streching. What?He is not even touching me?!!! He moves his hands in my direction and I feel air flowing in my lungs again, still I can't move the rest of my body.

"Speak." , he is calm but so cold, his eyes hold no emotions. My voice is raspy as I answer, no wonder this is the first time I speak in weeks: "I just wanted to go to the bathroom, please master, I need to drink something."

"You don't leave the bed until you have my permission, is that clear?" I nod my head, too late I realize my mistake. The slap echos loudly in the almost empy room and my cheek hurts a lot more then yesterday.

"I am sorry, master." I look ashamed at the floor, why am I ashamed? I did nothing wrong, again I am angry with my self.

"Oh, but you did pet. Pleasing you're master is now the only important thing for you und defying him is the worst. So what was it you wanted to ask of me?"

"May I please use the bathroom master." 

"You look at me when you speak or are spoken to. Again."

For a moment I am completely dumb struck, not able to understand what he wants but then he lifts just one eyebrow, a warning. "May I please use the bathroom?", I repeat but look him this time in the eyes. "Very well. You learn faster than I thought you would." Finally he lets me go and the door to my left opens.

I am already at the sink and drink greedily the water when he adds: "But don't think that was your whole punishment, I just don't have the time right now to punish throughoutly." It scares me so much how he says this casually while washing his face beside me.

When we are done in the bathroom he puts some sweatpants on, of course black and walks into the living room but I stop a few steps behind him. I am still naked. "What's the matter kitten.", it's not even a question he knows damn well what the problem here is. "What problem? I don't know what you mean."

"Can I please have some clothes?", I hate that I have to beg for it but I know that otherwise I wouldn't even have a chance to get what I want.

"Now what do you need clothes for?" 

I hate him, I hate him, I hate him so much, I won't cry because of this but I am also not able to answer his question.

"I don't think you need clothes.", his voice cold as ice again and I feel even worse then before.


	4. Breakfast

Carefully I walk to him in the kitchen, he orders me to kneel beside him on the floor while he makes breakfast. I obey silently still wish though I knew his name. Wait he doesn't know mine either.

"You don't have a name, you get one when you proved your worth." 

I wanna be appalled but honestly I don't care about that. My mum gave me my name, it is the only thing I have of her now and I will keep it save. It doesn't belong in this world.

While I was thinking, my master (I decided to call him that now since he won't tell me his name and it will get me the least punishment) almost finished cooking breakfast. It smells absolutely wonderful, it smells like fish. 

I love fish.

And suddenly a dark dark thought creeps his way into my mind: what if he makes only breakfast for himself? What if he has no intention of feeding me this morning? This would be by far the meanest thing he could do to me right now.

But it is not unheard of, in fact most slaves are treated like animals. It is common to feed us only once a day. 

I watch him anxiously as he puts the food on only one plate. But it is a lot of food, enough for two. He made some eggs, spinach and salmon, who would've thought! My favorite fish! At this point I am one hundred percent sure he does this on purpose.

He brings the food to the big table in the living room and sits down, I don't move since he didn't said I could. I may hate being a slave but I am not stupid. I know why and what for people wants slaves and how to behave correctly.

As my knees start to hurt from the kneeling he commands me to the table. "Down.", Is all he says. Again I kneel and he starts to eat.

After a while he holds up a piece of fish and I feel how my mouth practically aches for it, I need it. I wasn't fed the whole last week because I wasn't willing to show strangers my ass hole so please, I can't bear waiting until to night. 

My eyes are hypnotized by the bite of food he hold before my eyes. "You want to eat?"

"Yes, please.", I just need to reach out my hand and I could touch.....he takes it away.

"No, I don't think you want to eat." 

What?? "No, no no no, please I want to eat. I really do." I am absolutely desperate, "Please I do everything, just please let me eat" Tears are streaming down my face. I just can't take it anymore. Normally the stomach pain I get when they starve me is manageable but now when he holds the food before my eyes it hurts so much more. But he seems imune to begging and I don't know what to do anymore.

He doesn't acknowledges me anymore just eats.

Most of the slave traders had given me food when I begged or was good but with him it is completely different.

He actually really likes being mean but with him I can't protect myself like with the other sadists I met so far. I can't hide my fear, my desires and my feelings. I can't manipulate him.

"And that's exactly where you're disobidient, pet."I stare stunnend up at him. Lately my brain seems to shut down constantly.

"The mere thought of manipulating you're master is wrong. That's why you don't get food right now." At this I feel something break inside of me and I am so uterly confused and helpless I actually wish I could satisfy him. I wish I could be the good obidient slave he wishes for.

Eventually he reaches down and picks me up. Sits me on his lap and hugs me. I still can't stop crying but he wipes my tears from my face and waits patiently until I've calmed down. Softly he caresses my hair and my ears and I only can think about how good it feels when he touches me softly like this.

Then he picks up a piece of salmon with his fork and brings it to my mouth, I can't help but look up at him in disbelief. This is a test is it? And the he will take it away again and maybe won't even feed this evening.

His lips curl and he laughs silently: "It's fine, go ahead."

Of course I can't hold myself back anylonger and hastily eat the piece of fish. He feeds me another piece and then a bit spinach. "Slow down."he earns, "you will get sick if you eat so fast."

But I can't help myself it tastes so heavenly, everything tastes so good, especially the fish. Seriously I naver ate something more tasty in my life then this fish. Well maybe the fish I caught in the river when I still lived in my village but this is so long ago I can't even remember how they tasted.

However he stops feeding me even though there is still some stuff on the plate. And I want more, I am still pretty hungry. 

"That's enough for now." But, but he must know that I am still hungry, right. Why can't I have more?

"You're stomach is not used to so much food, to fatty food like fish neither. You won't feel good if throw everything up." 

He sits me down on the chair while he cleans the dishes. I thought that would be my task but he probably doesn't trust me after he had me only for a day. Understandable. I gives me also some water to drink which I am really thankful for. It is almost as if he cares for my health although he will probably exchange me in a few weeks for a prettier girl when he is done with me.

I had never an owner before but there were many girls and boys with me in cages that were brought back after a few weeks. Most of them looked broken, beaten bloody, some with broken limps. A girl that lived for a few days in the cage next to mine came back without her right hand. Back then I always thought that being sold from seller to seller is bad but it seemed to me like being sold was even worse.

But now I am not so sure anymore. I don't what I should think of him, at one moment he is cruel and the next he is nice. It is so confusing.

I still sit on the chair when he finishes putting on his full armor, it is an armor is it? Well a helmet is armor. Before he goes to work or whatever he does, he brings me to the bedroom again and I hear the doors look when he leaves. I try to enter the bathroom and they open when I stand directly before them so at least I can go to the toilet or drink some water when I need to.

For a while I groom my tail and ears until they are shiny. They are Stark contrast to my pale skin. The bruises and whip lashes I received this week from the slave traders are still visible. Thoughtful I trace the blue veins on my wrist.

If I want a way out of this, it needs to be spontaneous. It can only be something I haven't thought about before or else he will know it. And if my master has any suspicion that I will run away or something he will take any last freedom away from that I have. And I will never be able to get out. Never.

I will have to wait, be patient until right opportunity arrives.

I curl myself to a small ball under the blankets and fall asleep. For the last year sleep has been the only place where I could find peace and for now I can't do anything else anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this turns out to be less smut and more something else (don't know if you can call it a plot) then intended. Just a warning for those of you that are only after smut ;)


	5. Punishment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Violence and minimal fluff.

I startle awake when the automatic doors to the bedroom open with a low hiss sound. Alarmed I look around for any danger but after a few seconds I remember where I am and who the big black person is, that is now sitting down on the bed beside me.

I am still not used to being owned. It is almost ironical but I got used to sleeping in a cage at the floor. I got used to the endless whimpers and screams of others near me while I tried to get at least a few hours of sleep. I got used to the heavy unpleasant smell as well that would always longer around suffering people.

But I never got used to be with so many people, to can't get away from them. I, honestly I hate people. They only know how to hurt. They are loud, smell bad and most of them are really stupid. I feel much better when I am alone, I don't get lonely. I don't need anyone.

There chuckles someone lightly beside me and I remember that I am not anymore in these hated halls but not alone either. He took of his mask before he entered the room. I look him in the eyes, watch them closely since he doesn't say anything. I don't get him and that frustrates me. He is not like any other human I've ever met.

I don't dislike his company.

He completely ignores my chaotic thoughts and starts to scratch my left ear. Unconsciously I lean into his hand, it feels so good I have to close my eyes. My ears are very sensitive but he is so gentle as if he knows exactly the points where they are delicate and where not. As if he is a Serami himself.

"How do you feel?"

My gaze shoots up and meets directly his eyes. Black. Just two black holes. Reflexive I look down again yet remember what he said; that I should always look him in the eyes when I address him. I look up again: "I am warm, thank you master."

He lifts a strong brow: "I take that as you don't feel too good but are afraid to speak you're mind?" No, no that is not what I meant. "I, I I mean, warm feels good, master. A aand thank you for the food this morning too."

I feel so insecure right now. What does he want me to say. "I want you to answer my question honestly in words kitten."

But that's what I did, right? I mean isn't it good when I am warm?? I have the more comfort here then I had over a year, I am not cold anymore and he gave me food. I don't know what he wants from me, then I hear him sigh and I feel really bad. So useless, I wish I could say something that satisfies him. He shushes me: "It's fine little one don't worry about that. I've got something for you." Even though his words are nice his voice is emotionless.

He pulls out a black collar from his coat and fastens it around my neck. It fits pretty well and doesn't feel to tight. My hands shoot up to touch it but he is faster and restricts me by my wrists. Then he drags me roughly into the bathroom and shoves me in front of the big mirror there. I look into big scared eyes and then slowly down to the collar around my neck. Black leather. Very nice quality of course. It closes with a buckle at the back and has a big o-ring at the front.

"Stay like this.", he instructs and disappears for a moment. When he comes back, he attaches a small metal tag at the front of my collar right by the o-ring.

K.R., his initials I guess.

He snips with his finger one time against the tag: "Do you know what this collar means pet?"

Of course. There is no misinterpretation for this. "It means you own me master." I say defeated.

"That's right, but there is also something else." He makes a short break in his speech and scrutinizes me with is hard gaze. I tremble slightly and bite down hard onto my lips. "It shows everyone that you are mine. Which means no one but me is allowed to punish you. Whatever you do, where ever you are no one is authorized to touch you without my permission. This collar is the highest protection I can give you, do you understand that pet?"

"Yes, master."

"Good." With only one word he turns around and goes to the kitchen. I am again unsure what I am supposed to do. Slowly I walk through the room in his direction. Am I free to go where I want when he is with me? My gaze trails over the sky of the space that can be seen through the big window that takes over nearly one of the large walls of the living room. It is stunning. I always loved the sky, the clouds, the moon. Where ever you are, how ever far away from home you may be: the sky is always beautiful. I find solace in it. In this one too. 

"Come here pet." he commands and I follow him along in the kitchen. Kneel beside him like this morning and wait for him to finish cooking. My ears twitch, I don't like it when he calls me pet. I am not a pet. My race is way more intelligent then animals, we are more alike to humans then most other species in space. He knows and I know he still does it to degrade me.

When the food is ready I don't expect to get any of it but he orders me to sit on his lap again. "Feed me." he says and gives me the fork an the knife. I look at him baffled. I look at him baffled for a while and he waits patiently. Finally I take the cutlery and start to cut the meat and some of the vegetables then I slowly lift them to his mouth. And slowly he closes his lips over the food. I feed him the next bite and It's hard to even focus on the lovely smell of the meat. I can't take my eyes of his face. Watch his eyes then his lips then again his eyes only to notice him staring too.

There is something outright erotic about the way he eats and the fact that he gave me a knife and a fork. Both items, that I could use to hurt him or myself.

After I gave him a bit more then over the half on the plate to eat, he takes the cutlery out of my hands and starts to feed me the rest. I can't help but smile after my first astonishment. I get fed two times a day??? He's treating me very well so far and I start to feel giddy. Maybe, just maybe life will be better now for me.

We finish eating and do the dishes, he washes them and I towel them down. Then he leads me into the bedroom and the atmosphere instantly changes. I am not stupid, I know what's coming now still I hoped that he would maybe forget it over the day. A deep snicker escapes his mouth as he takes of his shirt and boots but leaves on his pants. "I never forget anything especially not when it involves such a sweet ass."

I start to tremble and get down onto my knees to beg. I have still a few very visible strikes from the overseer's cane. My skin hasn't healed fully and it will be absolutely excruciating to damage the sore skin so soon again. "I am so sorry master. Please, I promise to be good, I know I need to be punished but please wait, please master." I just need to prolong it a bit, maybe until tomorrow at least."

"Wait? For what?" The look in his eyes let all my hopes fly right out of the window. He knows. There is now use in resisting it will only be more painful.

"I asked you a question, girl." he demands an answer as my master roughly grabs my chin and cheeks with his hand and my neck immediately starts to strain. My back arches and his gaze travels hungrily over my breast that are pushed forward because of my stretched back. My nipples are hard.

"Just until my wounds healed a bit, master." I press out.

"Tzs tzs, now this is a punishment. Tell me again why are you punished?"

"Because I forgot to address you with you're title master." His grin widens: "That's right, kitten and do you think a punishment should be fun for you." Not a freaking question! He knows my answer already.

Tears prick at my eyes: "No, master.", my voice is no more then a whisper. "Louder!"

"No master!"

"You get ten with my hand and ten with the belt, get in position pet." I instantly get up and lower my upper body onto the bed, legs spread and ass stretched out. My guess about the position must have been right since he doesn't correct me. I startle when I feel his hand running softly over my ass. It feels good but I know well that won't last for long. "You will count every one of them out loud and thank me. Forget one and we are starting anew."

I nod my head, realize my mistake at the same time and quickly add a "Yes, master." then a loud smack echos in the room and I am jerked forward from the strong impact on my poor behind. "One. Thank you, master." I count obediently. The next follows instantly. It hurts but honestly I had worse. I am almost thankful that he starts out with his hand warming me up. He could've just gone in with the belt straight away and the pain and marks would've been way worse.

I get through the ten spanks without much problems, they are bearable and I nearly like them a bit. After the tenth I hear a rustle behind me and I know that the belt won't be as easy. I let out a little scream with the first hit. It hurts way worse even with the warming up. Shakily I count. With the second I start to tremble very strongly. And with the third I can feel the tears running down my face. He doesn't hold back and is way stronger then most of the others that had beaten me up. Soothingly he fondles my ass cheeks. The touch makes me feel a bit better, I always responded more to body contact. It makes me feel more grounded and not so alone. I know they do things like that to manipulate us but I can't mind to care about that.

He takes his hand away, "You're doing well." his voice is even deeper then before and a bit raspy so I know this impacts him as well. Another hit and I am sobbing but press "Four. Thank you, master." out. My tail is now swishing violently back and fourth.

The next and I am a complete mess, my rear shaking and trying to dodge the next hit, I can't control it. I stay where I am there is no getting out I have given up already. I feel it burning and biting and just want it to end. It feels so hot when my master starts again caressing my beaten up behind with his large hand. He squeezes a cheek then slowly glides lower and slip between my wet folds. Two of his long fingers are massaging my clit and after a while he slips then into me. I take him in without much resistance, he adds a third and reaches so deep into me I can nearly feel him in my stomach. Quiet moans and puffs of air escape my lips. I can't help it after the pain earlier this feels so incredible good and soothing. When I begin to rock my hips into his hand he takes it out with a sadistic chuckle.

I expect it but still am not prepared for the next hit. The pleasure from before mixes with the pain and I can't stop a loud moan from escaping my raw bitten lips. The next one hurts more, however the eighth one is unbearable. I gasp for air: "E eight! hank you, ma master." Tears drop onto the sheets beside my face and I fear he will strike again but I can't! My fluffed up tail tries to cover my ass even though a strike on my tail will hurt way WAY more then on my arse. I can't take another one!

"You can and you will. Take you're tail out of the way!" he growls and hits me fast again. I start trashing around but with one step he is beside me and presses my face deeper into the blankets a strong grip in my neck. "You have one more to go, I advise you to count now or I will have to start again."

I sniffle: "Nine. Thank you, master." The last one, an especially strong one makes me scream the loudest. "Ten. Thank you master." my knees give out but before I sink to the floor he is there picking me up. Gentle he sits me down onto his lap while his back is resting against the headboard. My master pets my ears, "Good girl. You've take you're punishment well." I lean into his touch while he is praising me. Exhausted I let myself fall into the hazy space where everything is fine. I pleased him, I made him proud.

"You did, little one." And I feel safe, safe in the arms of a man that had beaten me up moments ago. But that doesn't matter in my broken mind. I lay my head on his wide chest and close m eyes. I can hear his heartbeat.

"What did you learn today kitten?"

"I don't leave the bed without your permission and always look you in the eyes when I speak or am spoken too." I mumble but luckily he doesn't make me repeat it.

"Very well. Sleep now." Maybe he said something more? But everything is fuzzy and I feel too tired to open my eyes or my mouth to ask him so I just fall asleep like this.


	6. Subspace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut..

I wake up because something pocks me in the back. I moving but am instantly stopped since the heavy arm thrown over me just hold me tighter at that. A warm chest presses into my back and I am plainly aware what it is that is pocking me from the back. I lay curled on my side and my master behind me which brings us in a very intimate position. I ask myself if he is awake?

And well, he groans and tucks me closer so he must be. I feel a head atop of mine and honestly this doesn't feel bad. It actually feels really good. I feel weirdly safe with him.

And I mean he was right after all wasn't he? He is very hard but not cruel. At least not as cruel as all the other people who treated me like a slave.

I still feel his erection in my back and cant help but straighten my beck and press up into him. Immediately his hand shoots up and gabs my waist restricting any further movement.

"What do you think you're doing kitten?"

I really like this pet name, it makes me feel cherished in a way. So instead of answering I just purr soundly and try stretch my back even more.

His grip on me tightens painfully but I actually quite like this kind of pain.

I think he must've heard my thoughts because his other hand shoots up as well and grasps my neck tightly so I am forced to put head my back. His lips are now directly beside my ear as he whispers with a raspy morning voice: "Think carefully of what you're going to do next."

I moan and warmth starts to spread between my legs. "Please, master."

"Huh, what do you want?"

I don't want to say it, he must know what I mean, right? "Please, master please." I just meal again and he laughs.

"You need to be more precise little one, I can't read thoughts."

The hand that rested on my tummy so far creeps slowly lower until it rests perfectly between my legs. Nothing more. I want him to touch me but the hand stays still. I know I won't get more if I don't ask.

But do I want to ask him? It would mean I am giving in right? But would that be bad, I mean it's not like I ever resisted that much. I was pudding in his hands from the start so why bother now?

"Can you please touch me master?"

"I am touching you, kitten." The pet name and the fact that he seems so I bothered about the situation just makes me feel even hotter. I push the blankets away from me.

I hate having to say it but I am so frustrated at this point: "Please, touch my pussy master."

He Slips bis finger between my folds and starts to massage my clit. I buck up into his hand and it's just not enough. I wanted him in me, not like this! 

I can't see his face but I am sure grins behind me. He drags his fingers slowly again and again over my slid and I ache for more.

"I need you in me master."

"Oh, you think you can make demands pet?"

No no no no no, that is bad. Shouldn't have said that, shouldn't have thought that. He grabs my tail roughly and pulls, it should've hurt and it does but at the same time I feel an electric pleasure shoot through my whole body and I can't hold back a loud moan. "So you like that?", he snickers "Good to know."

With one swift move he turns us around so now I am laying on my stomach with him above me. I arch my ass in the air as he fondles the base of my already sensitive tail again. "Please, master." I beg again.

I can feel his hard cock rubbing over my ass and I am not sane enough right now to wonder when he undressed his pants. He kisses my ears as he growls: "You're cute when you are so desperate kitten. I would tease you all day but right now I can't wait anymore." with these words he thrust into me. It feels like someone just punched me in my tummy and I gasp for air. He doesn't go slow, doesn't wait for me to adjust. As soon as he's all the way in to the hilt he pulls out only to thrust in again. My walls clench desperately around him but can't slow him down and he sets a fast pace from the start.

With one hand he grasps my waist to pull me up even more and surely there will be fingerprints left from how hard he has me, his other hand in the back of my neck presses my face down into the mattress. I try to turn my face to the side to get some air in my lungs, moans and gasps spill out of my mouth. I don't even try to contain them.

It hurts every time he bottoms out he is too long and too big for me. However somehow I like this weird mix of pleasure and pain. Maybe all these years of abuse turned me a bit into a masochist.

My master thrusts sharply into me and a high whimper escapes me, I feel his hot breath on my back and try to lift my ass even higher. He hits my g-point and stars explode behind my eyes. "Found it." he chuckles a bit out of breath and it is so hot the way he takes me even though he is rough he has already taken more care of me then any other men I was forced to have sex with.

He hits my g-point again and again and I can't keep up anymore, if I ever could from the start. I just let him take me, hold me however he wants. Use me.

I feel my climax build up and I wanna come so badly. "You don't come until you're allowed to." He growls and I sob. "Please, please let me come." The fear to not get to come after all this is devastating.

"Don't! Or have you already forgotten what happens when you defy my orders:" he warns and another frustrated sob escape me. But I won't come, I don't want to be punished again and he has been so good to me. I want to make him proud. His thrusts get faster and faster and I am crying at this point having lost all hope to get to come at all.

Another hard shove of his pelvis and I feel him empty his load into me with a low groans. "Please, please master.." I can't think, honestly don't know why I am still begging at this point.

His hand on my waist tugs roughly on my tail: "It's fine, come!"

I can't believe it but climax at the same time as he orders me to. It hits me so hard I don't know where I am anymore. My whole body is shaking, still gasping for air while he turns us around in a more comfortable position. I lay limp on his chest as he softly caresses my ears: "You did well little one."

I am happy. "I am proud of you."

I can't lift one finger but I am happy! I feel like I am floating. Like there is nothing to worry about in this world. There is only him and I made him proud!

He waits until I calmed down a bit but I am still absolutely out of it so he caries me to the bathroom into the shower. My master presses me tight against his strong body since my legs can't carry me as he cleans us. I don't really recall how he wraps me up in a towel after the shower. How he comps and dries my hair. With a hand in the small of my back he pushes me gently into the bedroom again. I stand lost in the middle of the big room while he dresses.

He gives me a big black shirt. It hangs down on my frame but feels so warm and soft. I smells like him and I bury my face into it not caring how I must look. I closed my eyes to relish in his scent so I don't see his smile.

I stay close by his side while he makes breakfast, sit again on his lap as we eat. I gives me more then the last times and I'm soooo hungry I m sure I've could eaten even more but it's fine. I understand that when he says 'no' it means 'no' for me.

I am almost a bit sad when he gets reads for work, I wanna stay with him! Before he puts on his helm, my master turns around to me. Softly he bushes over my hair and I crane my head into his hand. With a chuckle he tells me: "I've told you good pets get rewarded. And you've been very good so you may walk freely around in the apartment."

To my shame I just meow for confirmation and he leaves. Leaving me behind in a shirt and a whole big apartment for me to roam.

So the first thing I do is going back to the bedroom, letting myself fall onto the huge bed and instantly slip into sleep. It's hard to say for how long I slept since the sky outside is always the same. But when I am waking up I notice a weird sound, like a really quite rattle outside the bedroom, that was probably the cause for me waking up. Noiselessly, I am still partly cat after all, I walk into the living room to find out where this funny noise is coming from and stop abruptly. There in the middle of the room is an egg shaped thing busy cleaning the floor!!

Okay, I know what this is, I've seen it before in the halls of the slave market. It is basically a robot for cleaning and yeah well everything to do with cleaning. They make this weird rattling sound when rolling around. And some of them can even talk! Although I've never talked to one.

"Hi, I am living here already a few days. You live here too?", "How are you?" I try to start a conversation but it's ignoring me. "My name is Eva, what's yours?" Still ignoring me, maybe it can't talk?? I jump onto the sofa to make room and wait patiently for it to finish mopping the floor. As soon as it's finished the robot rolls to the big door, that I assume lead to the outside world. The doors open, I stand up quickly and run to them but they already closed after it. I stand unsure before them, they don't open again. Well, I could have guessed that myself, still I am a bit disappointed.

I don't really know what to do, there is nothing really laying or standing around. No books or other normal people stuff in the living room, to pots, cutlery or even a toaster int the kitchen. Just bare white minimal furniture.

Suits him. And of course he is not stupid enough to let anything lay around with which I could escape or hurt myself. After a few useless attempts to open any closet or cupboard to find anything really to busy myself with I give up. I go into the bathroom and clean my fur extensively. After it's shiny as hell I don't know what to do, so I walk into the living room again and sit down before the big window. The rest of the day or night or both, honestly I lost any sense of time since I am here, I am busy watching the sky.

Thinking about my interaction with my owner so far. And also how I've fallen so heavily into subspace this morning. Something I've always tried to prevent with any other person since I was forced to leave home. Surely it would've made some things easier for me, some pain more tolerable but I just could not bring myself to it with any of this crude men or even women. People or non humans, that would always take advantage of me whatever hopeless situation I was in.

With him it was different, I didn't even think about not falling. I just did.

My ears flick softly in the direction of the almost silent swish from the automatic doors as they pull me out of my reverie. In the reflection of the windows I can see my master coming home. "Welcome home, master." I greet him politely.

"Not bad but next time wait by the door.", he grins and I give him a small smile in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I've never watched or read anything of Star Wars xD, so I have no clue if there even exists 'cleaning robots' but it seemed fitting so yes, that's how it is.  
> Also I am sorry if I confuse here anything of Kylo Rens character or something else of Star Wars, I write this simply for fun and pleasure.


	7. Clothes

Exactly as ordered I waited the next days by the front door for him when he got home. I had no clock, no indication about time and I can't even say if he came back everyday a different time but I tried.

The first time I went into a frenzy mood a few hour before he even came back, I wanted to greet him and do everything right. So I started waiting at the door and waited for a long time. A loooong time. The day after that I waited, got up because I thought it was too early and came back to wait again. Yesterday I was more relaxed, it only felt like maybe ten minutes until he came. I actually try hard to please him I realized only today. The last days all have been similar, eat breakfast together, he goes where ever he goes and I wait for him to come back, dinner and maybe a bit sexy time. He wasn't that mean the last days but i have nothing to do over the day beside sleep so I think about stuff a lot. I don't know why I want to please him, I mean it is more then just not want to be punished.

I want him to be happy in a way. Of course he bought me, he is fine with people being used as slaves and he uses me as one as well. He is degrading, humiliates and hurts me but still I don't hate him. I never hated anybody. Everyone lives their own life and for no one life is fair. It's stupid to assume just because a slave trader rapes me, that he has a good life. Just because you can buy or have slaves, that your life is easier and it's stupid to think that just because this man can do whatever he wants with me without any consequences, that he must be happy.

He's not. I can see it in his eyes, even when he smiles at me I can see, he's not happy. And I feel sorry for that, I know I am not at fault but still I feel sorry for him.

And if the situation is as it is, then I can at least try to make the best of it I am his slave, a slave is supposed to make life more enjoyable for their master that is what I will try to do until I find a way out of all this.

I start waiting by the door and after what feels like hours I am mournful aware, that I started waiting way to early, my knees hurt really badly too. But I can't stand up now because my master might actually come now any moment, so I wait.

The flush of the automatic doors let's me startle. Confused I look up. My master in his black robes stands above me, I fell asleep....I had one job..

He doesn't say anything, just stares down at me and I start to shake.

"Welcome back, master." is all I get out before the tears starts to flow. He will punish me, I tried so hard, so so hard, waited for soo long. And now he will punish me, why can't I do one thing right?? And the worst thing of all: I disappointed him.

Carefully he picks me up from the floor I am laying on and sits down with me on the sofa, places his helm beside him. I am still weeping, absolutely sure he's just gentle before the storm breaks loose but he hugs me, calms me slowly down. "It's fine, you're okay." Words I desperately needed to hear. "Calm down little one, you have nothing to fear."

I blink up at him, the tears in my lashes let everything flicker: "But I couldn't do what you're asked of me and now I will get punished." I added hastily a 'master'.

"I won't punish you for that mistake."

I stare at him stunned, almost questioning and he laughs. "You tried, the intention is what counts the most. We work later on the rest."

Ok. Yeah, that sounds good. "Thank you, master." I say while cuddling into his warm chest. I can hear his heartbeat like that, it's so strong. It's a peaceful beat, makes me feel so calm too. He strokes softly a few times my back until I calmed down a bit.

"I have something for you." I gets up and picks up a bag, black, plastic and smells like? Like something new? Weird smell. He bought something, I am sure.

"Put that on."

Without a word I just take the bag, instantly his hand shoots up and grabs me uncomfortable by my chin. I am forced to look him in the eyes and mumble a "Yes, master."

"Louder."

"Yes master." I don't say very loud so he makes me repeat it another four times until he let's me go.

In the bag are a long sleeved shirt, a short miniskirt, a pair of sheer stockings with a seam at the back of the legs and a pair of shiny heels. All black, of course.

No underwear....of course!

I put it all on, it fits nicely, feels good and I am not too worried about the no underwear, I mean I wasn't allowed underwear or clothing at all for many times, sadly more times lately then I was allowed to wear them so, I am in fact grateful.

He casually winks me over where he sat down on the leather couch, legs spread and elbows leaning on his knees. He looks powerful but I guess he always does. And I feel good right now, so I bring a natural swing with my hips as I walk. I stop before my master, he pulls me between his knees and this is the first time that I look down at him.

He grabs forcefully my ass cheeks with both hands and starts to knead them. I have to put my hands on his shoulders to support myself as he looks up at me with a suggestive smirk.

I should thank him. His hands roam over my body, grip my hips, roam up to my waist and stay there. I wanna thank him.

"Then thank me. Tell me what you want to do to show you're grateful to you're master."

I look at him with hungry eyes: "Can I cook something for you?", I ask dead serious. It's been like eight hours since I last ate.

He laughs and makes me a bit unsure if I said something wrong. "Not what I had in mind but sure, I am indeed hungry. Cook something for me."

He leads me in the kitchen. Expectant I just stand there and look at him, at that he just nods at me and says: "You wanted to cook me something, you think I will show you everything? Then I could do it as well myself."

I am kinda unsure, I saw him open the closets but when I tried they wouldn't, shyly I try to open one on my right and immediately the door snaps open. Ah ok, here are the pans. It takes me a while to get where everything is but he doesn't seems to be impatient so I take my time. I wanna do it right. I find some meat, fine flesh of an animal I don't know, the smell is absolutely unfamiliar but I am not too concerned about that. I find some potatoes and root vegetables too. Get them ready, cook the potatoes, roast the vegetables and prepare the meat. For a few seconds I just take in the scent of the meat, I can't help it, I know my tail must be fluffy and nervous right now. I am thinking to just take a little bite raw from it (honestly back at my village we ate a lot of meats raw) but I take one look at my master and know I shouldn't. I just see it in his eyes, I really shouldn't do that.

So I don't. Albeit reluctantly. With many long desperate looks at the meat, at my master and again at the meat. I wanna be bratty but this is to thank him for his kindness so maybe I really shouldn't.

I finish the dish and the steak smells insanely delicious. Again he makes me sit on his lap to eat. I don't mind and it doesn't seem like I will ever eat another way with him, so I get comfy on his lap. he tastes first my cooking and I am a bit anxious. I mean what if he doesn't like what I made?? He didn't say anything while he watched me cooking. He didn't even say anything about what I should cook, I saw a lot of other food in the cool chilly thing where all the food was. I am pretty sure this was a test, if I would make the right decisions, if I could please him, if I would be a good slave and what if I failed?? What if he doesn't like "Wow, this is really good."

My eyes must be as large as the big plate we are eating from because the moment he looks at me my master starts laughing really loudly. "Did you rally think I wouldn't like what you've cooked for me? Did you think I would punish you even if it was bad?"

"Yes, master, that's what I thought.", I mumble shyly but proud. He caresses my ears and puts a piece of juicy meat in my mouth. I close my eyes while chewing so wonderful does it taste. "Maybe I should let you cook more often for me, mmh?"

I don't even notice I am purring throughout the whole meal so content am I with how things are right now.

And he was right, he lets me cook more often from now on. In fact I am free to use the kitchen whenever I want and I find myself more often then not greeting him not only obidiently by the door when he comes home but also with a fresh cooked meal or a salad. He told me that if I need anything that we don't have in the fridge (I found out that's the cool thing where we put all the food), then I can put that on a list and give it to the cleaning robot to buy it.

I am also allowed to use a variety of other closets and cabinets, I didn't even know existed so far, this way I can clean or even read some books which is really fun since he is away most of the day and even watching the stars gets a bit boring after you did it for the last whole week every day.

They are still beautiful though, maybe I watch them some more after I baked some cookies for my master.

The automatic door swish open way to early and a very, very angry master storms into the apartment. He throws his helm with such a verocity away that it leaves a dent in the wall it collides with, at the same time I rush to the door and kneel by his side but bevor I can say any word at all, he silences me with an move of his hand. He pulls his coat of as well and goes into the kitchen where my open tray with the not yet baked coolies plus all the ingredients and kitchen tools lay. Utterly shocked I just watch him as he throws the tray thrugh hald the room. And some bowls and spoons I used to mix follow aswell. He takes the open pack of flour and emptys it over the kitchen floor while watching my face as tears spring to my eyes.

He's angry, he is so so angry and I know it has nothing to do with me but it hurts. It is so mean that I have to pay for something I was not involved in. I have a hunch what he is so angry about, in the last days he opened up more and more to me, don't get me wrong he was always strict to not cross to much the line, always made sure I knew where my place was. Still he let me take care of him in a way, told me some stuff he obviously liked or needed to talk about. I know his job is stressful, I don't know exactly what he does but that he's some sort of comander and has many idiots working under him as he descriped it. There is also a General Hux he seems to can't stand. From what I get they seem to annoy each other to no end so maybe he is angry because something happened again between them.

He pours some milk over the flour on the floor, takes the sugar and walks over to me. I am still kneeling by the door, I didn't dare to move without an order because I don't want to give him even more reasons to punish me.

The whole package of sugar is poured over my head, gets into my hair, fur and my cleavage, sticks to my wet face. When I open my eyes and look up to him my master just orders me with a wave of his hand to clean the mess. Hastily I struggle to stand up, stumble into the kitchen and start to clean. It's a pain in the ass, the flour is everywhere, the unbaked cookies too and there's also the pain, the pain that he just so carelessly destroyed something I made for him.

While I am busy cleaning, crying and not looking up he goes showering, when he comes back I am still not finished. Like I said the flour got everywhere! And I know him, if I don't scrub and wipe off every little spot and stain he is not afraid to repeat his whole tantrum and make me clean it all over again. Just in sweatpants, wet hair slicked back, he sits down on the couch and pours himself a glass of whisky. I can feel his eyes on me, he likes watching what I do. And it always makes me incredibly nervous.

I am afraid to forget to clean something so I go over and over the same spots again and again, wash the dishes two times. Technically it would be totally fine if he just lets the cleaning robot do all this, he doesn't need me to clean at all but he likes it. He likes to torture me, he likes to degrade me and he likes watching while he does it so I clean and scrub until my knees are red and hurting, my hands too.

After what feels like hours he calls me over and that is the moment I am truly afraid of.

I kneel by his feet, hands on my thighs, tail demurely wrapped around my legs and looking down. "Pet" he calls so I look up "Get to work.", he makes a vague gesture with his hand to his crotch but it's obvious what he wants. I open his zipper and pull his already heavy cock out.

He is by far bigger then average and even though I was forced to deep throat more often then I can count, I start slow. Lick up and down his shaft, push my tongue over his slit. However he's has no patience right now, I realize I made a mistake the moment I feel his big hands grabbing the back of my head. Although I know what's coming I am not prepared and immediately chock as the tip of his cock hits my throat.

He doesn't give me time to adjust, just starts to push in and out of my mouth with a brutal pace. I try to relax my jaw, open my mouth as wide as possible and breath but it's hard. I was never really good at this and I struggle breathing through my nose. With the force he uses he gets easy his whole length into me, always when he hits the back of my throat I have to gag, I am crying and my nose is running still I can only stay where I am and take what he gives, hoping it won't last that long.

I can taste his precum and also the sweetness of the sugar that is falling down from my head and gets into the way.

"Does it hurt." he ask with a particular harsh thrust that has me whimpering, I try to nod but he has my head in his relentless grip and also with his cock in my mouth I am just not able to move. I don't need to answer, he knows very well that it hurts. "Good." is all he say and grins then he pulls me of his dick.

My master lets go of my head and leans back, arms spread over the backrest of the sofa. His cock hanging out, only the slit of his pants open. He lifts condescendingly one eyebrow: "What are you waiting for slut?"

I am unsure of what to do, there are only a few options but I am truly afraid to pick the wrong choice. Shakily I stand up and sit in his lap, looking intimidated in his eyes to search for any reaction, that tells me wrong but there is none so I let myself sink slowly down onto his large girth. As I take him in my mouth opens, gasping for air and a small moan escapes me however my eyes never leave his and I know he likes seeing me like this. Impaled on his cock, panting getting used to his size.

Surprisingly he gives me the time I need, then I start pouncing up and down in his lap, at firs hesitant but after a while I support myself with my hands on his muscular chest and get into a decent pace. Up and down, I feel him stretching me out and small puffs of air and whimpers escape now and then. I was never good at riding and most men I had to lay with have preferred to be as active as possible. It's harder then I remember and just a matter of time until my thighs start shaking but otherwise It is kinda nice to choose my my own pace and all.

"Faster.", my blood is literally freezing as I see the look on his face and I am sure, I am in big trouble. So I increase my pace, lean more forward to get more support but it's not enough for him, it's never is. "I said faster!" he growls and not only my thighs are shaking now. I feel weak but try to go even faster, I know it won't satisfy him but he is still not touching me so at least he shows some mercy, right?

Absolutely unbothered he takes a swig from his whisky: "If you go even more slow then I might go soft again and you don't want that do you?"

Actually I wouldn't mind!

I couldn't stop myself from this one rebellious thought and in the moment it goes through my head, I already know I fucked up big time.

The next second is hand collides with my face and throws my head so strongly to the side, that my neck hurts too. While I am still whimpering he backhands the other side of my face. His left hand on my waist starts to push me down as his hips thrust up and I can feel a sharp pain explode deep within me. He continues ramming into me while his other hand doesn't cease to hit me in the face. Every time I gasp for air it collides again until everything is hazy and flimmering.

I have no strength to do as he tells me or oppose him. My cheeks hurt and my face feels like it's on fire, he rams his huge cock into me with way to much ferocity so it hurts, the pain numbing the pleasure. As I start seeing black spots and I get a really bad head ache he stops hitting and instead inserts two of his fingers into my mouth. I gag and chock while he pushes them down my throat and spit flows down my chin, I can feel it dripping obscenely onto my breasts. "Look at you making a mess, you're a slut but not even at being a slut are you good."

I sputter and try to pull my head back maybe he didn't anticipated resistance but I can turn my head to the side, his fingers slip out and I can get finally some air into my lungs. It feels like heaven..

..for a nanosecond...

"Ah ah ah, that's not how a good pet is supposed to behave."

with a particularly painful thrust a big hand clamps down around my neck and prohibits every try to breath. My scream goes silent midway and my walls clench around his penis making it even more painful for my tired body. I try to breath through my nose, but his hold is so strong, pressing down on my larynx and I start to chock and gag without escaping his grip nor getting air into my lungs. "Seems like you still haven't learned you're lesson yet. " My sight blurs not sure because of the tears or the air restriction. 

After I don't know how long he loosens his hold, doesn't take his hand away but my master let's me breath, breath, I'm so happy. An incredible high rushes through me I feel like I am flying, with wide eyes I look at him. One of his hands still bruising the skin of my waist, pushing me up and down til the lips of my sex touch his pelvis producing an obscene wet sound when they collide. His piecing gaze drills into me and I can't look away, it's like he chained me to his eyes. Even as he chokes me again, hand closing around my neck making me a sputtering and struggling mess I still can't look away from him. 

"Every action has consequences, don't forget that pet."

His pace gets faster and faster, he must be near his climax now. Black spots are in my vision again, my walls clamp down onto his cock one last time and the last thing I see before I black out is a cruel grin and the dark shimmer in his eyes.


	8. Just Once

I wake up in a cold empty bed. Just opening my eyes, nothing more, everything feels so heavy and I am not even sure if I have other body parts then my eyes. Can't feel them.

Can't feel anything, don't know anything too. Like this I lay for what feels like an eternity in the king sized bed starring at the white ceiling.

After a while I turn my head slowly, so so slowly to the right side. Pain flares up behind my eyes and memories of yesterday start to come back, I remember again what happened and the head ache comes to no surprise to me. Actually my head won't be the only body part of mine that will hurt. I try sitting up and yep, there it is, everything hurts.

Has been a while since I have felt every bone in my body so distinctly.

Naked I walk into the bathroom, shower and get ready. Put on a fresh set of clothes, I don't know where the ones from yesterday are and honestly I don't care. My master is the meticulous kind of type, he bought the same outfit three times for me. The heels are a bit annoying over time but as long as he isn't home I don't wear them anyway. I think he knows about that.

I go into the living room, just stand in the middle of the room, lost what to do now. It's a weird day. I stand there and stare for some time out of the window at the stares, trying to decide what to do.

I go back to bed and start grooming my fur, it looks good, so much better then when I was with the slave traders. It's shiny and velvety and my master likes to pet me very often lately. I like that, I really do.

But yesterday he was so different, I though he started to like me or at least he seemed almost kind. I though we hat some kind of balance between us, that I was of help and worth to him. I mean I am aware that, that might actually be the case and the situation yesterday didn't change anything between us but it did. 

I know I wasn't at fault, he was just letting his anger out on me but still it changed something between us, I can't unsee the look in his eyes. After all he is the same as all the others, he bought a slave after all. 

He supports the business of selling living beings and treating them as if they had no feelings. 

I feel bad, I feel disgusted with myself for starting to trust, even worse, for starting to like someone like him. 

Nervously I go into the living room again, I need something to do, I need to get those thoughts outa my head, they make me go crazy and when my master comes back he will surely notice there's something wrong. I can't let that happen, everything is bad enough as it is. Maybe there are some dishes I can do or clean the windows but my plans are disturbed by a cute little cleaning robot that vacuums the floor of our kitchen.

I observe him for a while. He is quite interesting in a way. Floating like a cute little ghost around the room. Actually he has something from a mouse as well.

Are they edible????

No ... probably not...

I sit down on the couch forgetting what I originally wanted to do and just watch it do what cleaning robot do. After it is done with its work, it turns around and rolls towards the door that leads from what I know to the outside world. In just a few moments a plan is formed in my head and before I can rationally think if it's a good idea what I am about to do I already start running.

Just as the doors open for the robot, I push it back inside and rush through the doors. They close behind me and I am free.

White corridors lay before me but I just keep running maybe, actually surely this is a bad idea, a stupid idea, still I would've regret it all my life if I not even once tried to escape from this hell. This is the first opportunity to arise to escape and I could be the last. I pushed the robot back inside so he can't tell anyone about me escaping but when my master returns home he of course will see that I am not there anymore. There is only a very small chance for me to actually escape and a very high chance of him still finding me.

However I needed this, just once I had to try and run.

I don't even know where to go or if there is even a possibility to go somewhere, what if we are on some of these ships in space? Well, to late to think about that, I have to make it work. White hallways, bright lights but at least not many people. As soon as I hear somebody coming I stop running and walk. If someone knew what I was doing, there would be no chance to escape either way, so better try to disguise myself. The man just walk by, I am not looking up. So I know that it is not uncommon for slaves to walk freely around as long as their master permits it, therefore I only have to pretend I am allowed to walk around until I can escape from this place. Of course there is limited time, as soon as my master comes home he will know what's going on, so I have to be far away until then. I should have some time until he comes back, around five more hours.

My ears twitch from side to side, right now nobody is around but it seems the walls are thin enough for me to hear through them, not much but enough to know where the people around me are. I walk along another bright hallway, to my right must be a bathroom, I hear water and male voices, three I think. To my right is a hallway like mine since I can hear footsteps going along with mine.

I straighten my back and keep my gaze down as I hear the steps of two people for a few minutes walking beside me, then my way opens into a crossing where four hallways meet. Respectfully I atop walking to let the two men that come from the way beside me pass by, hoping they wouldn't even spare me a glance.

But as they are almost by one foot pair stops walking. "Wait a moment, Taylor."

Then they turn around and come to stop before me, two fingers lift my chin and I am forced to look up in two friendly brown eyes. "Hey hey hey, I've never seen you around, what's your name?"

"Eva, Sir.", my voice is dry and I have to force all my will to my ears so they won't flatten against my head, they can't know I am afraid.

The other men is blond: "What a cutie, never saw one with kitten ears before." I flinch as he takes the tag on my collar into his hand to read it. "K.R., who's you're master?"

"I don't know his name, Sir." I answer truthfully but he frowns and looks at his partner: "You know someone with the initials K.R. around here, Brown?"

"Only Comander Ren but I never heard, that he has a slave." Brown laughs playfully and starts rubbing my left ear. I shiver again, I don't want him to touch me but I am slave, if I would resist, they would only get angry and that would draw to much attention. So I stay were I am. "Also can't imagine him having one.", he adds.

Brown seems harmless, he is completely focused on my ears but the other one, Taylor gives me a scrutinizing look. "Do you have permission to walk around freely?"

"Yes, I have Sir."

"Normally I would believe you, but you know on this part of the ship slaves are not allowed, so care to explain what you were doing here?"

Oh shit, not only are we on a ship but also I fucked up right from the start.

"Sry Sir, I got lost." he doesn't seem convinced one bit so I add: "I am new, my master had me only for a few weeks and this is actually the second time I am permitted to walk around."

Brown has now discovered, that I have a tail too and fondles the sensitive part of my body way to hard."Come on Taylor, believe the kitty, look how cute she is, how can she lie."

Wow, what an idiot. Taylor and I have the same thought, I can tell from his expression. He observes me, he knows I don't tell the truth.

"Brown, Taylor, may I question what's going on here?" a man coming from a different hallway joins our little party. He is tall, hair shimmering red, and a voice similar to the voice of my master.

A voice that is used to command and obeyed. And I know that if I wasn't in trouble before, I am definitely in big, big trouble now.

The two men greet the tall one with obvious respect. "General, we just found this slave walking around, she says she's lost, but I think she isn't actually allowed to walk around freely.", Taylor explains and I look at the floor and wish I could make myself invisible.

The General doesn't even seem that much interested in the case of an escaping slave until this dump ass Brown mentions: "And look someone owns her, that has the exact same initials like the Commander. Kinda funny, right? I think we just bring her to the duty service for slaves."

But the General isn't even listening anymore, his eyes painfully fixing mine even as I try to look again on the floor. Brown is still babbling stupid shit but the General just intervenes with his harsh tone: " No need for that, I take care of it. I know who owns her."

What?

The men just smile and thank the General, Brown pats me a last time and then I am suddenly alone with a big scary man. Great! Awesome!

Fantastico!!!

"Come, down even think of escaping.", even before he finished his sentence he starts walking. I feel completely transparent, like I explained in detail my plan to escape to him and that scares the shit out of me.

I follow him obediently. It's technically the only thing I was ever good at: following orders. Ha! What a joke! I wanna laugh but I don't fell like laughing, I feel like crying. It is painful when I think that the thing I was only ever good at is the think I am used for against my will.

It hurts me to think I could ever find something even remotely like happiness in serving people who hurt and enslave others. Who take advantage in weaker ones, who don't have compassion, mercy or anything similar to morals.

But everything wears down on me, I feel weaker every day, my spirit shrinks every day. And at some point you don't you don't think anymore of giving up.

You already did.

And even though you're pride gets torn up and destroyed, you also feel the ease to finally submit, to not having to fight anymore. Because fighting makes me tired, it makes me so so so tired until the only thing I can thing about is ending it all.

I am completely sunken into my thoughts and don't even notice when we arrive and go into a lavish but elegant room.

There's a huge desk right besides a huge window, everything here is huge and intimidating like the red head, that sits down on the chair behind the desk, winks me around and makes me stand right before him. Way too close. I can smell his expensive after shave and an eau de toilette I can't decipher.

His eyes are steel blue as I look at them, he grabs my tail and starts to massage it uncomfortably so I look him in the eyes, it's the only thing that can take my focus away from the rough manhandling of my now very fluffy behind.

I can't help it, always when someone touches me and I don't like it one bit my fur fluffs out and my ears flatten, it is reflex.

But as the instinct kicks in this time with this man he takes his hands from me disappointed. He even sights: "You see, there are two ways we can do this, I already know you've tried to escape but originally I intended to leave it to you're master to punish you for it, however for this disobedient behavior right now I could punish you too. So either way is fine by me, but I would advise you to be a good little kitty like you are probably for the Commander."

I am confused, so the Commander is Kylo Ren and is my master?? But I was obedient, I did everything they asked of me, I mean my ears flatten and twitching, that is something I don't really have influence on, they do what they do, it's reflex and instinct.

He takes my tail into his hands again and begins stroking it with to much force, I mean I am similar to a cat not a dog, so... don't freaking stroke me against the natural way of hair growing. Goodness this is making me very anxious and before I can even start thinking about what is going on my ears twitch again two times violently.

His hands stop stroking and we freeze for a moment, I am starring timidly up to him waiting for what's to come. Slowly he stands up and sights disappointed. 

No, he is not disappointed, just now I saw how the right side of his mouth lifted slightly before he shows his back to me and pulls something from a drawer of his large bureau.

Did he, wanted me to misbehave???

I feel panic creeping into my chest and honestly I want to laugh loudly at the stupid dump shitty fact, that I just run into the hands of another sadist. Great! Absolutely wonderful!!

He turns around and as he makes his way back to me I can clearly see a cane in his hands. Yep! Definitely a sadist.

My eyes are large and i begin to shake, when he stands before me, please, that can't happen. Caning is probably the most used punishment, the slave traders loved it and this one seems into it too. Back before I was sold, I had to endure being hit with a cane multiple times a week, fast it became something I hated to death. I don't know, normally I can endure pain quite fine but I am really afraid of caning, it hurts sooo much.

I need to get out of this situation, I need to get out of it now!

"Please", so I start to beg "please, don't do that. I am really sorry." Of course he is unimpressed by me complaining. I try to beg more but I seemingly has no heart, suddenly I remember what my master told me when he gifted me my collar. "You can't hurt me without the permission from my master, please."

"Oh? Well, of course if you want I can get him but I think he would gladly let me punish you before he takes care of you himself. After all you tried to run away." He doesn't change his expression but the mean gleam in his eyes tell me enough to know I won't get out of here.

"Hands!", sill on my knees I look stupidly up at this command not really knowing what to do. Slowly I lift my hands not daring looking at him questioningly. "Palms up!" I old my hands up before me, palms up and suddenly I get it. "No, no please, I can you please punish me another way, please, that you can't! You ", I am babbling nonsense, since I am terrified at the though what's going to happen, but instantly go silent when he lifts my chin with the cane making me look into his cold eyes.

"You making this only harder on your self." His voice is so calm, it's deadly. "You will take you're punishment like a good slave. Understood?"

"Yes, Sir." I answer defeated.


	9. Cold

The first hit comes down on my vulnerable hands and I can't suppress a scream. One. That was just one hit. I can't take more!

But there is already the second and I scream again, because it hurts so much. I've never been caned on my hands only on the butt, thighs and back. Still I've seen people being caned on the hands or feed and it is in my mind one of the most if not the most brutal way to punish. Hands and Feed will swell and hurt for days, you can't close you're hands or walk, in the worst case scenario there are open wounds, that will infect. Saw once a boy loose his hand of that.

The thoughts in my head get darker and darker with every hit. I don't stop shaking, after the fourth hit I can only whimper anymore and I start crying.

I want to pull my hands away but I know, that would make everything much, much worse for me, so I don't.

I follow the feeling of a tear rolling down my cheek, dropping onto my breasts to distract my self, so only after a while I notice there comes no sixth hit. The red headed man is just starring at me, as I look up at him the cane tears down again and my scream louder then any other before.

After that I don't dare taking my gaze away from him again and soon I fall into a trance like state. I think were at the tenth hit when the doors fly open with a loud bank. But I don't care, I am not looking away from the man above me not until I am allowed to. Like a good girl I am just sitting there waiting for another hit.

Someone screams, people are talking, two I think, two men. My hair is grabbed and my head is roughly pulled back but I can't see who, I am just starring emptily in the air. No one talked to me so I am not allowed to look or to talk.

Everything feels so mushy, that's fine. Everything is fine, here where I am. I know my place, kneeling on the floor is where I belong.

Someone lifts me, I am brought somewhere, scents and different smells surround us but nothing is familiar anymore, I don't remember any scent, where there scents before?

What was before?

Then I black out.


	10. Ice Cold

I shiver, my arms slung around my legs, knees pressed as close to my body as possible to keep the bit of warmth that is left in me.

There is no warmth left in me, the last days drained every bit of energy and warmth I had.

After I passed out, my master who 'rescued' me, brought me back to his apartment. He threw into a room and left. I woke up to unfamiliar walls, white. Cold.

An empty room, a room I've never been before in.

There was literally nothing, I lay on the hard floor by the wall opposite from the automatic door. The single thing in this room are two buckets.

One with water and one empty. I lived long enough as a slave to know how they are to use. One for drinking, one for pissing. No pretty way to say it.

Three days.

I haven't seen my master for three days. I've had nothing to eat for three days. I haven't moved for three days. I got colder and colder for three days. The few pounds I've gained, I've lost already, even with them there wouldn't have been enough on my body to keep me warm.

When you think about slaves suffering you surely don't think about them being cold, right? Between being degraded, humiliated and abused, being cold doesn't seem that bad right??

Wrong. Sure, abuse is the worst in that exact moment, but when it's over, when you're sitting again in your cell just waiting for life to get better or be over( no judgement, whatever works best for you), you don't feel the hits anymore, you feel the cold.

You get cold because you don't eat enough and when you get cold, you need more energy to get warm so you get even colder. When you're hands and feet are blue and hurt, when you can't walk straight because you're shivering that hard, when you can't even sleep anymore because you're that cold, then you almost wish for another hit to get you blood circulating again.

Maybe on planets or in countries, where it's hot being cold isn't that big of a problem. Everywhere where I was, it is.

I didn't cried when I woke up, didn't cry these days, don't have the energy. But again, I don't even know for what life I've should have saved my energy. There is nothing waiting for. There is no one waiting for me.

I don't know if he's given me up or if he is so angry he can't even face me. Maybe he's just busy. Or he forgotten I even exists.

Somehow that thought frightens me the most.

I don't hate him and for a short time I dreamed that, I actually don't know what I dreamed. I was stupid enough to dream, stupid. But I dreamed or at least it didn't feel that bad to be with him.

I know that I spiral down in my depressive thoughts, I know that's not good for me, still I can't stop.

The door swishes open, heavy boots storm in, I can't look up fast enough before a hand grabs me by the neck and I am pulled up. My master stares at me like he had never seen me before. I don't know if I should look up or down, I cough and suddenly I am slammed into the wall behind me. My head feels numb. I am slapped hard across the face and start to hear a high sound in my ears.

Thrown onto the floor, kicked and hit. Pulled up again, again he stares at me and then quietly he murmurs into my ear: "I thought you were a good girl. I thought you were a smart girl but turns out a worthless slave always stays a worthless slave. I've should have known that."

Maybe two or three years ago I would've screamed at him, tried to argue, tried to fight but not anymore.

I feel something warm dripping from my nose. Blood.

I feel something warm dripping from my eyes. Tears.

But I make no attempt to fight back or even say a word.

He let's me fall to the floor. "Come.", he orders.

I try standing up, a foot pushes me down again. "Crawl, scum doesn't deserve to walk."

Well, I wouldn't have been able to stand up or walk anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hey!
> 
> The last chapters are really short but don't worry the story stays the same as I planned.  
> I just don't have so much time at hand right now and still want to put something out,  
> also I think it fits the story right now quite well since it's getting dark,  
> so the chapters are shorter for that reason.
> 
> Have a beautiful day!


	11. Manipulation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, new warning!!!  
> This is getting very, VERY dark and abusive.  
> Please read the tags and take care of yourself.  
> It wasn't intended to evolve this way but for the sake of plot I find it necessary.

He goes straight to the couch and sits down. "Bring me some tea, you know which." is all he says. I am not even by the couch, when I have to make a turn for the kitchen. Arriving there I realize this will be not possible with me sitting on the floor.

"Master." I whisper, I am so afraid, honestly I don't want to speak or interact with him in any way but I have to.

"Can I please stand up to make your tea, master?" He's ignoring me. Or maybe I am not loud enough? What should I do? My hands are shaking, starring at the floor I hate myself for being so weak, for becoming so dependent on another person.

I've become exactly what a slave is supposed to be: stupid, submissive and not able to do anything without being ordered to. I press my teeth together until it hurts, I have to pull myself together. He wants me to break.

"Master! May I stand up to prepare your tea?" I almost scream or at least it sounds that loud in my own ears.

"You may."

I prepare his tea how he likes it, Earl Grey with a bit of milk, no sugar. After I finished he doesn't say anything and again I start to become very unsure of what to do. I am so afraid to do something wrong. I don't wanna be punished again.

After maybe ten minutes standing dumb around I finally let myself slide down to the floor at his feet. The next second tea, that just boiled two minutes ago is spilled over my head.

I am confused in the first moment, then I feel the heat and it takes my breath away. I gasp for air however I can't even make a sound because everything, I don't know. I hurts so bad, I don't know anymore. There is nothing that I can do to stop it, I just sit there and try to, what am I trying to do?

I cower down, try to press my hands to my head or my head to the floor, anything that might sooth the pain, anything to stop it.

After what feels like an eternity I feel something cold press down on my head and finally I can breath again. I start to sob uncontrolled. I sob and cry without any tears.

My master wraps a wet towel around my head and carries me to the empty room, that seems to become my new home and prison.

He lays me down on the floor a leaves that's when I scream for the first time: "Don't!" I am so tired I can't even lift a hand. "Please don't leave!" I don't care what he did I just can't bear the though of being alone, of being left.

He stops walking, doesn't turn around though: "You still don't know your place, pet." He says this quietly but with no room to even think of defying him.

The door closes and I am alone.

At some point I must have fallen asleep. My master wakes me up roughly, I don't have a clue what time it is. I feel weak, my bones ache, my head even more. He makes me crawl around when I am not doing something for him. He doesn't talk anymore to me besides the vicious comments and insults now and then.

I make his breakfast, not getting anything to eat myself. I learned my lesson, I am not supposed to be a living creature. I am a slave and I only do what my master tells me to do. It is easier like this anyway.

He makes me sit beside him as he eats breakfast. I feel hot and dizzy but don't say anything. I says something to me, I look at him like he's miles away. His mouth moves but I can't hear anything.

Bang. My cheek burns. "Clean up.", then he leaves.

I am something like happy that he went to work. I do the dishes, clean the table. I stagger a few time, once I even fall. That's fine. Try to tidy up everything that even is slightly not perfectly clean or where it's meant to be. Then I don't know what to do. I stand in the big living room and yea, just stand there. He hasn't told me what to do while he is away.

I go to the bathroom, I look at myself in the mirror.

I look strange.

It is strange to look at the person in the mirror. She looks sick, just sick. I sight and force my self to smile. It looks forced...

I brush my hair, after the last days it is so knotty and matted, my fur too. The exertion just from lifting my arms and standing up lets me see black spots. I brush my teeth too and since I am very sweaty and feverish I decide to take a lukewarm shower.

It feels good, so good, I just sit down and let the water run over me. I imagine I am somewhere else. In the woods, breathing fresh air, looking up at a blue sky and white clouds.

After a while I turn off the water and just sit there crying.

I wish I could've had a different life. I wish I could see my family once more. I wish I could see the sky, the real one for one last time.

So many wishes....

Maybe that's where I was wrong: to wish.

We should not wish for something, it won't come true anyway.

I stand up and dry myself up. I put on some fresh clothes, even though I am not sure if scum is allowed to do that but I decide, that looking presentable is maybe important too. I make some desert for dinner and prepare the food as much as possible without cooking. Then I sit down by the front door and wait for my master to come home.

He comes home, throws his cape at me and storms into one of the rooms I am not allowed to go into. When it is time for dinner I make the food, he eats silently. After he is finished my master looks at me.

I feel uncomfortable under his strong gaze and after a while I look down. Instantly he lifts my face with a harsh grip. "Did I allow you to look away, pet?"

"No master, I am sorry."

"I know you are sorry but it doesn't mean anything to me." He smirks condescendingly at me, moving his hand down to my neck. I now what's coming and don't struggle as he presses down. My mouth opens and a small puff of air escapes my lips. Suddenly his hands leave again and he stands up. He takes a slice of bread and puts it on the table. "When you're finished with cleaning you can eat this.", he vanishes again into his room.

Sitting on the hard floor in my cold room I can't help but remember how warm his hand felt around my neck, how right it felt.

My fever is still high so I wake up several times that night, sweaty and over heated. I think I've might started making some sounds too although I didn't heard anything but suddenly the light goes on and my master storms in. My heart rate goes up like crazy, I don't think I could take a punishment now but instead of hurting me, I am carried into the living room and laid down on the couch. There must have been someone else to, I remember hearing another voice but don't know who it was.

In the morning my master wakes me up and gives me water and pills before he goes to work, he lets me sleep the whole day and the next I have to serve him again like I am healthy and fine even though the fever still isn't entirely down. I still have to take the pills and they do wonders, they make the pain go almost completely away, so I am good.

After the little choking he doesn't touch me again. And somehow that is the worst punishment of all. I got so used to him touching me, even if it was only for a short time. We weren't even behaving anything like a couple or even friends but it felt like we had a connection and after the long time without anyone caring for me I was so starved for any kindness or human warmth, it felt good, it felt save and for a short time I was happy.

I can't deny, I was the one, who destroyed what we had. But I don't regret it I think. It wouldn't have lasted anyway.

But now it is hard, so hard. He feeds me again but otherwise I have nothing, not even the right to stand up while walking. My days are empty, when there is nothing to do I just sit by the door and wait for him. I stopped thinking along the way, not that it would've made a difference since he knows what is going through my head but I stopped dreaming too. I stopped imagining and talking, everything stopped in my head. Sometimes when he's not there I catch myself thinking stuff I should not think about. Dark things for which, if he knew about them, I would be surely hard punished for.

He isn't happy either. He is angry a lot, most of the time he comes from work stressed and that only intensifies through the evening. Then he lets it out on me, punishes me for everything that makes him so angry. If at least he would've be happy but he is not.

I know it will be the same today: tension until he explodes and then I'll have to pay. So, I choose to wait for him naked, only in stockings. Wearing my hair open and arching my back, it is obvious what I am trying to do and I'm aware this can go two ways. But the small chance, that he may be at least a little bit pleased is worth it. If I can lighten his mood just a bit, then he will hopefully not go as hard on me this evening and I really could use a break.

I feel the goose bumps on my arms as the doors slide open. Heavy boots enter confidently. "Welcome home, master."

He stands before me, not taking of his helm or cape just looking down at me. Complete Silence.

And I begin to get nervous. Does he not like it, was it a big mistake what I did??

Leather grates against leather as he slowly crouches down. My whole body shakes when he almost gently pushes a strand of hair out of my face.

The mechanic voice through his helmet is deep and dominant: "You want to tell me anything, pet?"

"I want to please you, master you seem so stressed lately.", she words stumble amateurish from my mouth before I can think about them.

He caresses my cheek with his hand, the leather of his glove feels rough on my skin. At my words he laughs brusquely, his hand runs through my hair and I realize, he could painfully grip it any moment if he wanted to. This doesn't go how I hoped it would, it is clear as day that I hold no power here and my fear only grows.

Voice not loud but death cold: "So you want to bribe me."

No! No, please.. I start to shake my head.

"You though you could manipulate me."

"No! That is not what I " I can't finish my sentence because my hair is pulled so hard back that my head is twisted painfully and I have to gasp for air.

"We'll see if you've bitten off more then you can chew, kitten." 

I feel hi warm breath beside my ear: "Go into the bedroom, wait there for me."

He takes his time. I am waiting on the floor in the same kneeling position as earlier. Since I have run away I am not allowed to sleep in his bed anymore or even sit on it without his permission. I can hear him walking through the apartment, eating something then showering. When he sits down somewhere in the living room (I guess he is reading or something), I grow aware that he lets me wait on purpose. He perfectly knows how anxious I get waiting for him like this. How nervous and self conscious and smaller and smaller and even smaller I get without him even touching me.

One of the first things I learned about my master is, that he loves seeing the fear in other peoples eyes. Sure, he likes inflicting pain too but the most excites him fear, the complete helplessness of someone being at his mercy.

Even when he treated me kinda good (before I fucked it up), he still made me afraid and respect him the hard way.

And the same as I can hear what he's doing, he can hear what I am doing or what I am thinking to be precise. Oh, he can hear every single one of my thoughts right now and I am sure as hell he is enjoying himself. 

I wanna give up, I want to be able to make the decision 'to give up'. I feel myself grow sadder and sadder with every second. Even if I want to, there is no use. Even if I give up, my master would still do with me what ever he wants. It's either fight and get hurt or be a doll and get hurt too. It is so funny I wanna laugh because it actually makes no difference what choice I make.

I hear him stand up and into the bedroom. Elegantly he sits down on the bed. "Go ahead.", he nods at me and I am kinda star struck. What? I mean what am I supposed to do? He sights disappointed and shakes his had like he has to explain something to a kid for a third time. "Maybe I should really hit you less, you're getting more stupid."

Ok, that's mean.

"You wanted to make me feel good, right? Well, I am waiting."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want, comment if the abuse is getting to much or if you don't like the way this turns out. I had a vision how the plot should turn out, I just thought there would be more smut and stuff. I often read fanfics where I liked the beginning of the story a lot but then it turns in a different direction and I am very disappointed. 
> 
> So I am asking myself right now if I maybe just should've done only smut?


	12. Wrong Pleasure?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Violence and sex....

Oh, that is what he is talking about. My master rolls his eyes, of course he knows what I am thinking. I hate that. I rally really do.

"You know pet, if you want to loose even more brain cells, you should've just told me from the start.", he's getting up and I am panicking.

"NO, no, no, no, no!! Please, master! Please I want to be good, I want to make you feel good. Please, let me show, I will be good I promise!" I am rambling like crazy to afraid to even think clearly. Only able to breath again when he sits down again and makes me move with one swish of his hand like he is a kind and I am a lowly peasant.

Ok, well, that's is actually our dynamic.

For like a nanosecond I am having a heart attack in my head because I don't know what to do next. Genius that I am, I never thought of what to do next, when he gives me the opportunity to please him. But I pull myself together instantly, I can't freak out now! I need to concentrate, to please him and the only way to do that is to not think about what to do. Just do it!!

I ask shyly: Master, may I please stand up to take you're clothes of?" Polite and respectful, breath you are doing well, I try to motivate myself. I gives me a short nod and I take of his coat and helm. Our eyes meet during that procedure and I shudder under his hard gaze. I hate myself for being so powerless, for being so weak. I wouldn't want to be able to make somebody submit to me by just looking at them but being the one who is made to submit against their will is just as bad.

After I took his pants of as well I am sitting between his strong thighs and start to caress them slowly with my hands. Go up and down, over his knees, near his crotch but don't touch it. He has very muscular thighs, like I can feel the muscle under the skin and they are so hard, gently I use my claws to scratch him a bit, just so it feels good.

Slowly my hands glide near his pelvis again, underwear still on, I take his cock in my hands and start to stroke it. Feeling him stare at me, as much as I hate it, itmakes me a bit hot so I don't look up. I know he likes it when I look him in the eyes while I pleasure him or he me but right now I just can't.

When he is hard I mouth him through his black underwear, making them all wet. I take them off after a few minutes and take him in my mouth, circle my tongue around his tip and try to get as much saliva on him as possible. Sounds kinda cross, but I now it will hurt the less fluid I have there. A hand grabs my hair and my eyes shoot open to look at him. Nonchalant leans my master back on the hand that doesn't grip me, Dark hair falling in his eyes, lips smirking slightly and eyes so dark I can't decipher, where pupil start and iris ends.

I can feel my cheeks getting red, why is he looking at me so intensely. I slide down on his penis as much as I can the rest of it I am holding with my hands, then while I start popping up and down I try to take more and more in. Honestly I would like it a lot if I could swallow his whole cock, I don't know why but I would like it and it would please him, right?

I hear him hiss, the hand in my hair tightens and pushes me down hard. I gag and tears spring in my eyes. "I don't mind you choking on my cock like the whore you are.", he growls and pushes me down again.

My cheeks are wet and hot and I can't get enough air so I pant and cough. Sill he pushes me down again and even harder.

"But actually", deep voice, contrary to my coughing and panting and his harsh movements totally calm: "I'm getting a bit bored up here."

He pulls me of, I am a sputtering mess not even functioning to think about what he's saying as he pulls me face to face: "Didn't you say you want to please me, pet?"

His voice is raw, animalistic and only now I am waking up.

"I am sorry, master. I can do better, master." I am whining and he lets me down.

"Look at you, I didn't even fucked you're face that hard and you're a complete mess. Pathetic!"

"Master, may I have the permission to go on you're bed, please?" I ask as polite as possible.

"Yes, you have my permission."

As I crawl up he slaps me in the face so hard, it throws me back on the floor with a scream. My face feels likes its on fire and before I can even get up I am grabbed and pulled up by just one hand of him. "But this is you're last chance. I have no patience for stupid sluts.", his words so sharp I can feel them practically cutting in my face.

Normally words like this would have hurt me badly, being degraded like this would've broken me but it's to late for that and I am way to far gone into my headspace to care about them. As soon as I hit the mattress I get up on all fours. Head down, ass up and back arched. The only option that comes to my mind.

I shakily breath in as his big and warm hands grip my globes. For a moment I think he might actually start to knead them but then one is gone and yeah..., I flinch when it hits my cheek very, very hard. One hit on my other cheek too, then he spreads them and I can literally feel his stare on my hole. My face grows hotter, pressed into the mattress I try to keep my whines in.

I know I have nothing to say here and will only be punished if I make even just the attempt at any demand.

"That's right, pet. You exist only to please me, you don't have wishes or needs.", with the last word he spits on my butt hole and spreads it with his thump. I shudder again, feeling one hand go down my back, pressing me deeper down and stopping when its reached my neck.

"What are you?" he asks and when I am unsure and taking to long to answer he starts to press his thump in to my butt hole. There is a lot resistance and it hurts already, he doesn't stop pressing down making me more and more afraid off whats to happen if I don't answer immediately.

But I don't know what to say, what am I?? He calls me pet, slut, also kitten.. it begins to hurt more and more as his thick thumps slowly slips in without preparation and liquid besides my spit.

I gasp loudly and just say: "Slut, master. I am a slut??"

"And who's slut are you?" his hot breath tingles my ear and I unconsciously lean my head into him. Seeking for any bit of warmth.

"I am your slut, master." I moan as he pulls finally his thump out again.

"Exactly and as my property I can do what I want with you and you will take everything I give you, am I understood!"

"Yes, master." I whimper the tension being almost too much.

"Good pet." and at the same time saying these words he presses his hand down onto my neck, stopping all air from flowing in or out and his other hand pushes three fingers at the same time into my pussy and start violently thrusting in and out.

I gasp for air, with his thrust it seems like every bit of it left my lungs and won't come beg, it feels like he just punched me in the guts. Well, he kinda did....

And right from the start his pace is too fast for me, there are too many sensations: his tight grip in my neck, the air restriction, his hot breath besides my ear and his fingers tearing in and out of me. I feel my high coming fast but also I start to get dizzy, broken whimpers leave my mouth and I fly higher and higher as everything around me starts flimmering.

Honestly I stopped thinking a long time ago but if there would any comprehend thought left in my brain, it would probably evolve around him, if he will just choke me to death, if he will let me come or if he will even fuck me. Because actually I would like him to fuck me, I would like to be near him, but maybe I am not even worth that.

And with this last self degrading thought everything turns black. 

A second later I feel a hard sting on my right cheek and am brought back to reality.

"You didn't though we were finished here, did you pet?" my master roars and my head still hurts from everything, I haven't come yet.

"And you won't until I say so!" with these words he thrust this time his thick cock into me. He is rough but doesn't go as fats as before, doesn't choke me either so I can finally get some air into my lungs. However I lay limp and lifeless in his arms, he isn't even half way through and I don't have any energy left to even close my hand or anything.

Soon pleasure and pain take me over again, I can't even classify the sounds that are coming out of my mouth. Skilled as he is, my master hits my g-point with every of his slow, hard thrusts. Spit seeps out of my mouth onto the pillow beneath me and I start to shake from the rough penetration.

His penis is too long for me, so if he wants to bury himself completely in my pussy then that hurts for me. A lot, with the force he is using.

But it starts to hurt soo good. I find myself craving for the next, next and the next hard shove, waiting for the pleasure and the pain, eliciting every time a weak moan from me.

As soon as I am near my orgasm again, he stops although I knew that already. Still I start begging, rambling just to let me finally come, I don't think I can do this much longer. He doesn't care, just waits for me to calm down a bit an then starts fucking me anew.

My entrance is raw by that time and stings with the friction, I am quite sensitive and always get fast over stimulated in that area in which he seems to take even more pleasure in. I don't register me crying or him getting a bit out of breath, indicating that he too is close.

I still somewhere in my mushy mind know, that he will only let me come if I ask for it. Since I don't have any strength left to talk I beg for it in my head, one last time I ask: "Please master, may I come?"

"You may pet.", he finally permits with an edge to his voice. And finally I can let go, the tension solves in my body and I can only gasp silently as I climax.

My master keeps going and I only starts to hurt more. He is holding himself back relishing in the broken whimpers of pain from me. Hand in my hair, he pulls us up. One of his hands around my middle glides down and begins to massage my already overworked clit wringing an exhausted scream from me, his other in my hair hold my head up, directly besides his air.

He bites a few times down onto my neck just to create a few more dark spots of ownership, then he claims my mouth with sheer force. His tongue invading my cavern, pressing mine down and stealing my breath again. As my eyes start to close he releases my lips not without tugging harshly on them, leaving his own red and shiny.

They are so close as he whispers in my ear: "You look good like this, from now on this is your only purpose, pet."

Then he lets me fall.

He comes, spurting his seed over my lifeless form but I am to exhausted too stay awake for that. I just fall into a deep sleepless slumber trying to forget what happened today.


	13. Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey,  
> sry, it took me a while to continue this work.  
> I was very busy and also kinda hesitant on how to approach the ending of this story.  
> But I found a good solution and will finish this in the next days.

I stretch my arms, slowly. My back and my legs and everything huts..

My head falls to the left and I I am able to look at the sky of space. An endless sky. Softly I blink, there are no thoughts left, I know that there is something, something I know of or something that happened..? But I don't know.. My does my body hurt so much?

For a while I just stare at the sky, observe the stars and the blackness between them. They seem so gentle, so innocent... can a star be innocent? After I don't know how long I finally try to stand up and fail miserably. Only at my third attempt I achieve to stay on my feet. As my gaze travels over my bruises and wounds the memories from yesterday come back and it feels like I run into a tree, maybe worse.

I sink down to the mattress again, just sit there and stare at the white of the floor.

From an objective point of view: physically I've been through worse.

But I can't. I really can't anymore. Again and again I live through the events that unfolded last night and it's always the same, I don't know how to feel and at the same time I am so indescribable sad. I am sad. 

After maybe even hours I stand up, go to the bathroom and shower. It's the only think to do right know but after I am finished with brushing my hair I don't know what to do. There are no clothes for me. My master decided that I am worthy again to sleep in his bed but I am still not allowed to wear clothes and honestly I don't care.

In the kitchen I discover to my surprise that every cabinet and closed is still open to use for me. I could even eat something from the fridge.

I am not hungry. I wanna sit down so I sink slowly to the floor beside the table. 

It doesn't feel right to sit on a stool...

Again I find myself staring out of the window. When I look at the stars I feel nothing. 

How did it come to this? Wasn't I once happy even with a hard life? Or at least I was determined to never give up. When did that change, when did I change? 

I guess I stopped fighting a long time ago. It was better back then, it is better to fight because if you fight that means you steel have something to live for, life still has a meaning to you. Right now, nothing means anything anymore, there is no purpose for life nor to fight.

I find myself unable to cry.

Sitting here, realizing that I could as well be dead because my life as no worth to me or anyone for that matter doesn't make me sadder then I am anyway. So w hy would I cry now? There is nothing left to cry for. Every life comes to an end, we all have to die. And mine as kinda ended already.

Heavily I lift myself and open one of he cupboards to take a knife out, a sharp one.

Really, when I die now I might do everyone a favor. After all I am just a burden to everyone especially to my master. So why drag it on longer, right?

My decision stands, should've done it months ago anyway. I know it will hurt a lot so I drag the knife over my right wist as fast and deep as possible. Immediately pain explodes worse then any before, I pant and start to shake as crazy as I switch the knife to my left hand. Honestly I don't know how but somehow I actually can cut my left wrist as well before I loose consciousness. 

At least I didn't took that long. 

Death could've been worse to me.. 

* * *

A soft bed, a familiar room, her skin was almost as white as the bed linen when the young women opens her eyes.

Her body was too heavy to lift, only her black cat like ears twitched slightly. Slowly she started to recognize her surroundings. Her gaze drifted down to her wrists that laid upon the blankets, stitches held together the deep wounds on their insides. To her left kneels a sleeping man, his dark hair spilled out in a dark contrast to the bed.

Head still empty the girl slowly started to grasp her situation, came to the conclusion on what must've happened while she thought she was finally free..

Small puffs of air escaped her open lips as tears started to drip down her cheeks.

It seems like not even death is something she has the right to decide for herself. Not even allowed to end her own life, there is truly nothing she has freedom over.

A soundless sob leaves her mouth as the sleeping form besides her awakes and a big warm hand gently caresses her hair. The girl has nothing to loose and no one to hate anymore so she accepts the comfort the hand brings and just leans into the warmth. For a while the man and the girl look into each others eyes. 

The girl is not surprised by the gentleness of the mans eyes albeit she hasn't seen them look like this for weeks. But she is not surprised.

Even though it's the man that has the ability to read minds, she is the one who knows what he is thinking in this moment. She knows how he feels, knows who he is and she may not be able to forgive him right now, still she understands.

Both living in the same twisted cruel world, they are both broken in their own way.

And maybe that's enough.

Maybe that's why he couldn't let her go and she accepts to stay with him.

It won't be suddenly easy, there will still be pain and hardships in their lives and of course many mistakes, after all they still live in the same world as before.

Surely there won't be a happy end for them,

but at the very least they have each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... how did you like it?
> 
> This wasn't maybe an surprising end but I thought a happy ending just doesn't suit this story.  
> Roughly I knew from the start, that I want it to end in a way like this but I am also interested what you think of it,  
> so feel free to comment.
> 
> Have a happy day!


End file.
